Times of India: "Sophisticated online financial planning software" --> FREE Limited time offer:
950 Views
4 Replies
950 Views 4 Replies
Does honesty help a relationship or it hurts a relationship?
This question bothers many of us when it comes to revealing something
serious. Shall I tell him/her about everything? What if things go
wrong? How to tell? What if I do not tell but he/she comes to know
about it? So many questions hammer us when we want to hide truth. And
revealing truth may be equally serious in our opinion. So what should be done?
If we are not totally honest and open with our beloved, that means we
are not sure about our relationship. That means that we do not have
confidence in each other. That means that the relationship is fragile.
Why worry about a relationship, which is fragile. Such a relationship
will break for some or other reason.
A strong relationship can take any storm. In a strong relationship, we
are ready for some disagreement but know that ultimately things will
be same as be fore. In a strong relationship we are totally open with
each other. We tell everything to our partner and are sure that no break-up will occur.
Such relationship gives joy.
If you hide something from your partner you will always suffer from
the guilt and worry about hat if he/she gets to know about that. That
is not a happy relationship. Such relationships cause stress, rather
than giving any pleasure. To get pleasure, have confidence, tell your
partner everything about your past, and expect that they will not only
understand but also comfort you about that. That is the sign of a open and strong relationship.
There is another way out. Draw boundaries and agree about them with
each other. I may do some thing in this area but you have no right to
know about that. If such an agreement is drawn and agreed upon by the
partners many problems get solved. But this kind of relationship is
not close.
Have your choice about what you want to do.
Please share your views.
Very delicate issue and this has to be handled carefully.Any relationship should be open and honest.But sometimes, this may not hold good all times.It happned to me only recently.Suddenly my wife got a severe backache when I was in office and she has not called up and told me that and she went to hospital and got herself examined and returned home. She told me everything once I returned home and am about to sleep.What shall I do? Shall I get angry on her for not telling me or shall I presume that she is avoiding me or she doesn't want to share things with me.Very tricky situation isn't it?So it entirely depends on the quantum of love and affection and mostly magnitude of trust that is prevalent in a relationship.My wife obviously had thought that I may get disturbed and worried so she has refrained from informing me about her backache.As far as she is concerned she is always correct. Isn't it?These kind of things happen in a relationship and nobody is over and above them.There has to be understanding and trust which are like two guiding stars in any relationship.So first we should have these two traits in a relationship otherwise no relationship can survive.
Good thread Priyanka.Thank you for starting.
I want to see some more comments and feelings of our most knowledgeable members.
Cheers!
Pradeep
Being honest can sometimes hurt a lot when what you have to admitt or confess is something that will bring sadness or make the other one worry.
Can we put in balance the happiness of someone being spared of the painfull details, living in ignorance with the pain when that person finds out the truth aabout something bad related to his relationship, related to his spouse?
It's very delicate...but I think - as Pradeep pointed out - that trust is essential.
A real relationship can overcome some mistakes, some difficult times if there is communication between the two people involved, if there is respect and courage for being honest.
What do you prefer? To be kept on dark and feel happy when all your friends or family know some things about your spouse you don't so when you finally find out you will feel betrayed and lied by all of them or to know the truth no matter how difficult it will be to accept?
So many times people are hiding health problems from their loved ones not wanting them to feel worried, stressed, when in fact they would need their comfort and strength. This is in fact an act of altruism, of love, of putting the other on first plann, but the spouse might feel kept out, hurt for not being trusted to be strong enough for both of them.
Some other times it's about cheating, making mistakes, doing things that hurt the other one...admitting, realizing it was a mistake and having the courage to assume it and tell the other one means not everything is lost.
I almost agree with the comments written about it so far but here I would like to introduce something which I think should make a difference when answering this question.
when we talk about relationship, it is always advisable that we should maintain it with purity but I personally feel that if we first see what kind of relationship are we talking about then we proabably can think twice.
In simple words, what i want to put across here is just that before thinking about any relationship we must make sure that we are clear in our mind about the importance of that relationship.
let's say if it's just an acquaintance then I would not think about it much because it's not gonna make any big difference to me and therefore if hiding something from that person doesn't make any difference then I shall just forget about it. But if I am talking about a relationships such as siblings, in-laws, mentor-mentee or any direct relationships which are important and close to our heart then even if hiding something doesn't make any difference still everything should be communicated to the other person and nothing should come up as a surprise to that person and if that comes up in the time of crisis then that could be even worse.
therefore I would say that yes honesty does make a lot of difference where it could strengthen as well as hurt any relationship but if are able to differentiate between the relationships we maintain then atleast for us it'll always be the case of strengthening the relationship.
Nice topic but as pradeep said, it needs to be tackled with ultra caution. In my view, being transparent and true in a relation helps in creating faith & trust. At times, one might encounter a situation where revealing the truth would be more hurting, but that will be only in the short run. In the long run, one would surely gain blind faith in that relation. There might be some disagreement in the initial phase, but the roots of relation will only grow stronger.
And the most important thing, one is able to face oneself without any guilt of cheating upon the relations that matter.
Regards
Gurpreet
Recently in HR Forums
to the forum topic 
