Yahoo! Finance: "Redefining personal finance for India's middle class" --> FREE Limited time offer: Sign Up Now
Entertainment » Humor » ONE - LINERS ::):):):):):):)

2189 Views
  0 Replies

0
Vote Vote
ONE - LINERS ::):):):):):):)
Arun
Arun Picture
679 Posts
back to top
Posted 26-05-2017Reply

OPPORTUNIST: A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into river



CIGARETTE: A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end and a fool at the other!



MARRIAGE: It's an agreement wherein a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her master



DIVORCE: Future Tense of Marriage



LECTURE: An art of transmitting Information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of students without passing through the minds of either



CONFERENCE: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present



COMPROMISE: The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece



TEARS: The hydraulic force by which masculine will power is defeated by feminine water-power!



DICTIONARY: A place where divorce comes before marriage



CONFERENCE ROOM: A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on



ECSTASY: A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feeling you have never felt before



CLASSIC: A book which people praise, but never read



SMILE: A curve that can set a lot of things straight!



OFFICE: A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life



YAWN: The only time when some married men ever get to open their mouth



ETC: A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do



COMMITTEE: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together



EXPERIENCE: The name men give to their Mistakes



ATOM BOMB: An invention to bring an end to all inventions



DIPLOMAT: A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip



OPTIMIST: A person who while falling from EIFFEL TOWER says in midway "SEE I AM NOT INJURED YET!"



PESSIMIST: A person who says that O is the last letter in ZERO, Instead of the first letter in OPPORTUNITY



MISER: A person who lives poor so that he can die RICH!



FATHER: A banker provided by nature



CRIMINAL: A guy no different from the other, unless he gets caught



BOSS: Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early



POLITICIAN: One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence Later



DOCTOR: A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you

 
0
Vote Vote

Recently in HR Forums

5 days ago
Mani gave to Ksjpreeth's reply to forum topic looking for sharing naukri portal
12 days ago
Mani gave to Ksjpreeth's reply to forum topic looking for sharing naukri portal
12 days ago
Mani gave to Ksjpreeth's reply to forum topic looking for sharing naukri portal
12 days ago
Mani gave to Ksjpreeth's reply to forum topic looking for sharing naukri portal
12 days ago
 
Recent (10) | HR | Both
HR | Both   1 of 10