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ONE - LINERS ::):):):):):):)
Arun
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Posted 26-05-2017Reply

OPPORTUNIST: A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into river



CIGARETTE: A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end and a fool at the other!



MARRIAGE: It's an agreement wherein a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her master



DIVORCE: Future Tense of Marriage



LECTURE: An art of transmitting Information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of students without passing through the minds of either



CONFERENCE: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present



COMPROMISE: The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece



TEARS: The hydraulic force by which masculine will power is defeated by feminine water-power!



DICTIONARY: A place where divorce comes before marriage



CONFERENCE ROOM: A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on



ECSTASY: A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feeling you have never felt before



CLASSIC: A book which people praise, but never read



SMILE: A curve that can set a lot of things straight!



OFFICE: A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life



YAWN: The only time when some married men ever get to open their mouth



ETC: A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do



COMMITTEE: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together



EXPERIENCE: The name men give to their Mistakes



ATOM BOMB: An invention to bring an end to all inventions



DIPLOMAT: A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip



OPTIMIST: A person who while falling from EIFFEL TOWER says in midway "SEE I AM NOT INJURED YET!"



PESSIMIST: A person who says that O is the last letter in ZERO, Instead of the first letter in OPPORTUNITY



MISER: A person who lives poor so that he can die RICH!



FATHER: A banker provided by nature



CRIMINAL: A guy no different from the other, unless he gets caught



BOSS: Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early



POLITICIAN: One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence Later



DOCTOR: A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you

 
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