Santa : Can I know my mobile bill, please?



Call center girl : Sir,just dial *123# to know your current bill status.



Santa : (He got angry and..)You stupid...



Call center girl : Sir,I'm sorry, anything wrong?



Santa : I'm not asking my current bill. I'm asking my mobile bill..

Don't be a fool. Be wise like me.





***



Ek Sardar Ne god Se Pucha:



Kya Mai Agle Janam Me

Gadha Ban Sakta Hoon?



God Ne Jawab Diya,



ek Hi Facility Baar Baar Nahi Mil Sakti..



***





Air hostes pathan se,



Sir,ap kya lena pasand karenge



Pathan: Humare liye taveez wala chai lao,



Airhostes: Abey akhrot, woh taveez nahi tea bag he



***



Ek ladki ne ek ladke ko aawaz lagai.

O Bhai Jaan Please sunye toh zara.

Ladka bola Oye, Pahle decide kar Bhai ya Jaan.

confuse Mat kar.



***





Jailor-Tum kis zurm mai andar aye ho





Qaidi-Sarkar Se competition ho gaya tha





Jailor-Kis baat ka





Qaidi-Note chap ne ka





***





Santa:Mujhe to aankhe band karne par b dikhayi deta hai



Banta:Acha! Kya dikhta hai?



Santa:Andhera!



***







Banta to Doctor : Doctor Sahab! Mein apna dimag daan

karna chahta hu.



Doctor : Hoga to hum le lenge .





Son to Dad : Papa, Mein itna bada kab hounga ki mein mummy se bina puche bahar ja saku?



Papa : Beta abhi itna bada to mein bhi nahi hua!!!





Autowala to Santa : Sahab, 100 rupaye ho gaye.

Santa ne 50 rupaye autowale ko de diye.

Autowala : Sahab ye to gundagardi hai, meter ki hisab se 100 rupaye hue hai.

Santa : Tu bhi to baithkar aaya hai, tera kiraya bhi kya mujhe dena parega!!!





Ek din Santa ne apni premika ko himmat jutakar keh dala - I

love you.

Premika(Gusse se) : Jara pyar se nahi keh sakte?



Santa : I love you Didi!!!!









Girl-to-Boy - Aaye bewafe tune sab kuch saaf kar diya,

mera dil jala kar rakh kar diya

Boy-to-Girl - Aye ladki, teri kurbani bekar nahi jayegi,

bhej de rakh mujhe, bartan manjne ke kaam aayegi.





Pati aur patni ghumne gaye. Raaste me ek gadhe ko ghaas kata

dekh patni ne pati se kaha - Oo G tumhara rishtedaar ghaas

kha raha hai, namaste karo.

Pati - Namaste Sasur Ji



Santa ne Banta se kaha,"Sabse bada challenge kya hai?"

Banta replied - Answer sheet ko khaali chod do aur last me likh dena,

paas karke dikha.



Frog: Tumhare paas dimaag nahin hai.

Bhola: Hai.

Frog: Nahin hai.

Bhola: Hai.

Frog: Nahin hai and jumps into the well.

Bhola: Isme suicide karne waali kya baat thi.?



Teacher : Santa batao `M' for kya hota hai?

Santa : Sir, Mother!

Teacher : Right! Aab batao W for kya hota hai?

Santa kuch sochne lagta hai

Teacher : Santa kya soch rahe ho?

Santa : Sir, mein yeh soch raha tha ki Maa ulti kaise ho gayi?



Teacher : Santa ye batao tense kitne tarah ke hote hai?

Santa : Teen maidam.

Teacher : Teeno ke ek-ek example batao.

Santa : Madam, meine kal aapki beti ko dekha tha. Aaj mein ussey pyar karta hu aur kal mein ussey bhaga kar le jaunga.





Regards,



Srilatha