School: A place where Papa pays and Son plays.



Life Insurance: A contract that keeps you poor all your life so that you can die Rich.



Nurse: A person who wakes u up to give you sleeping pills.



Marriage: It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree

and a woman gains her masters.



Divorce: Future tense of Marriage.



Tears: The hydraulic force by which masculine willpower is defeated by

feminine waterpower.



Lecture: An art of transferring information from the notes of the

Lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of

either"



Conference: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.



Compromise: The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody

believes he got the biggest piece.



Dictionary: A place where success comes before work.



Conference Room: A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and

everybody disagrees later on.



Father: A banker provided by nature.



Criminal:A guy no different from the rest....except that he got

caught.



Boss: Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are

early.



Politician: One who shakes your hand before elections and your

Confidence after.



Doctor: A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you by bills.



Classic: Books, which people praise, but do not read.



Smile: A curve that can set a lot of things straight.



Office: A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.



Yawn: The only time some! married men ever get to open their mouth.



Etc.: A sign to make others believe that you know more than you

actually do.



Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to

decide that nothing can be done together.



Experience: The name men give to their mistakes.



Atom Bomb: An invention to end all inventions.



Philosopher: A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when

dead