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Type: HR, Report if not a HR topic
Desi English at office, a comedy of errors...
Have you seen what passes through Human Resources departments across the country? English errors of such magnitude that, as a worker, you don't know whether to laugh or cry.
That's the situation that faces Anand S., an HR worker for a multi-national in Bangalore .
Instead of frustration, Anand deals with these mistakes by documenting them. Here's his list of the funniest gaffes:
Wrong: Since I have to go to my village to sell my land
along with my wife. Please sanction me one week
leave.
Correct: My wife and I have to go to our village to sell our
land. Please sanction me one week of leave.
***************
Wrong: My cremation ceremony is at 10:00 am, please
grant me half-day leave.
Correct: I'm attending a cremation ceremony at 10:00 am;
please grant me half-day of leave.
***************
Wrong: As I am working in this office I suffering from
headache. I request you to leave me today only.
Correct: I am suffering from a headache. I request leave for
today.
***************
Wrong: I only am suffering from fever, please declare one
day holiday.
Correct: I am suffering from fever. Please grant me leave for
today.
***************
Wrong: As my headache is paining, please give my leave
today.
Correct: As I have a painful headache, please grant me
leave today.
***************
Wrong: I am enclosed herewith...
Correct: I have enclosed herewith...
***************
Wrong: Dear Sir, with reference to the above, please refer
to my below reference.
Correct: Dear sir, in reference to the above, please see my
observation below.
***************
Wrong: As my mother-in-law has expired and I am
responsible for it, please grant me ten days leave.
Correct: My mother-in-law has expired and I am required to
make arrangements for mourning. I request ten
days of leave.
***************
Wrong: My wife is suffering from sickness and as I am her
only husband at home I may be granted leave
Correct: My wife is ill and no one is home to assist her. May
I be granted a short leave?
***************
Wrong: I am in well here, thank you, and hope you are also
in the same well.
Correct: I am well, thank you. I hope you are the same.
***************
Wrong: As I am marrying my daughter, please grant weak
leave.
Correct: My daughter is to be married. I request one week's
leave.
***************
Wrong: I want to shave my son head, kindly please leave
me for two days.
Correct: As we are to celebrate my son's mundan, I request
leave for two days.
***************
Wrong: This has reference to your advertisement calling for
a 'typist and an accountant - Male or Female'. As I
am both and have been for the past several years I
am applying for the post.
Correct: In reference to your advertisement calling for
a 'typist and an accountant', I would like to submit
my application. I have served as both a typist and
an accountant in the past.
***************
---- Mr.... See Mr.Balaji V's complete reply
u r welcome !! :)
Excellent collection.. i wish Mr Anand culd share some more of it.
ur welcome Shiny...
i am trying to collect some from my own experiences...
i am sure even u do come across mails, applications, resumes like this... please do share with us as well ...
Yes Neil...
I used to follow up the "East Enders" tv show... there were so many mistakes, which seemed "OK" and natural...
some which were used very often : "You was..." or " she don't "
This seemed very strange to me for an English speaking country...
we would love to have more such examples of "howlers" ... i am preparing another list with my personal experience at office... will post them soon....
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