THE LAWS OF LIFE !!!





&Law of Mechanical Repair

After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch or you'll have to pee.



&Law of the Workshop

Any tool, when dropped, will roll or slide to the least accessible location.



&Law of Probability

The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.



&Law of the Telephone

If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal.



&Law of the Alibi

If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire,the very next morning you will have a flat tire.



&Variation Law

If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will start to move faster than the one you are in now (works every time).



&Law of the Bath

When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.



&Law of Close Encounters

The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.



&Law of the Result

When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.



&Law of Biomechanics

The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to your ability to reach and scratch it.



&Law of the Theatre

At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle will arrive last.



&Law of Coffee

As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.



&Murphy's Law of Lockers

If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.



&Law of Rugs/Carpets

The chances of an open-faced jam sandwich landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet/rug.



&Law of Location

No matter where you go, there you are.



&Law of Logical Argument

Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.



&Brown's Law

If the shoe fits, it's ugly.



&Oliver's Law

A closed mouth gathers no feet.



&Wilson 's Law

As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it. (this one is true every time!)



&Doctors' Law

If you don't feel well, make an appointment to see a doctor, and by the time you get there you'll feel better. Don't make an appointment and you'll remain sick.