Wife: If I dismiss the cook and make the food myself for a month, what will you pay me?

Husband: I won't have to pay you, you'll get my entire insurance amount.!!!



Two men r talking. 1st: I got married coz I was tired of eating out, cleaning the house, doing the laundry & wearing shabby clothes.

2nd: Amazing, I just got divorced for the very same reasons!!!



What’s the diff between Complete & Finished?

If you find good wife u r complete otherwise u r finished.!!





Police arrested a drunkard & asked: Where r u going?

Man: I'm going 2 listen lecture on ill effects of drinking.

Cop: Who'll lecture at midnight?

Man: My wife...!!



Before marriage: Roses are red, sky is blue. U r beautiful, I love u.

After marriage: Roses are dead, I'm blue. U r my headache, one day I'll

kill u.!!



Beggar: Saab 12Rs do na coffee peeni hai.

Man: Lekin coffee to 6Rs ki hai?

Beggar: Par Saab girlfriend bhi to hai.

Man: Bhikari hokar bhi GF banali.

Beggar: Na saab,GF ne Bhikari bana diya! !!



Q: Why do women live longer than men?

A: Shopping never causes heart attacks, but paying the bill does!



Regards,

Piyush