1. Cigarette: A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end and a fool at the other.



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2. Love Affairs: Something like cricket where one-day internationals are more popular than a 5 day test match.



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3. Lecture: An art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of students without passing through 'the minds of either'.



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4. Conference: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.



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5. Compromise: The art of dividing a cake in? Such a way that everybody believes, she got the biggest piece.



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6. Tears: The hydraulic force by which the masculine will-power is defeated by feminine water-power.



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7. Dictionary: A place where divorce comes before marriage and success before work.



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8. Conference Room: A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everyone disagrees later on.



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9. Ecstasy: A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feeling you have never felt before.



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10. Classic: A book which people praise but do not read.



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11. Smile: A curve that can set a lot of things straight.



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12. Office: A place where you can relax from the strenuous home life.



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13. Yawn: The only time some married men get to open their mouth.



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14. Etc. : A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.



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15. Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.



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16. Experience: The name men give to their mistakes.



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17. Atom Bomb: An invention to end all inventions.