1. For your information, please. (FYI)

Meaning : I don't know what to do with this, so please keep it.



2. Noted and returned.

Meaning : I don't know what to do with this, so please keep it little while.



3. Review and comment.

Meaning : Do the dirty work so that I can forward it.



4. Action please.

Meaning : Get yourself involved for me. Don't worry, I'll claim the credit.



5. For your necessary action.

Meaning : It's your headache now.



6. Copy to.

Meaning : Here's a share of my headache.



7. For your approval, please.

Meaning : Put your neck on the chopping board for me please.



8. Action is being taken.

Meaning : Your correspondence is lost and I am trying to locate it.



9. Your letter is receiving our attention.

Meaning : I am trying to figure out what you want.



10. Please discuss.

Meaning : I don't know what the "****" this is, so please brief me.



11. For your immediate action.

Meaning : Do it NOW! Or I will get into serious trouble.



12. Please reply soon.

Meaning : Please be efficient. It makes me look inefficient.



13. We are investigating/processing your request with the relevant authorities. Meaning : They are causing the delay, not us.



14. Regards.

Meaning : Thanks and bless you for reading all the nonsense.