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Police arrested a drunkard & askd: Where r u goin?



Man: I'm goin 2 listen lecture on ill effcts of drinking.



Cop: Who'll lecture at midnite?



Man: My wife...



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Law Professor: Which is the most important LAW of Finance for Starting a



New Business?



Student: Father-in-Law!



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Before marriage: Roses are red, sky is blue. U r beautiful, I luv u.



After marriage: Roses are dead, I'm blue. U r my headache, one day I'll



kill u.



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Man: Is there any way for long life?



Dr: Get married.



Man: Will it help?



Dr: No, but the thought of long life will never come.



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What's the biggest pressure for Pak captain when Pak needs 1 run to win in



8 ovrs, with 5 wickets in hand?



Ya Allah! How to speak English in presentation ceremony?



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Beggar: Saab 12Rs do na coffee peeni hai.



Man: Lekin coffee to 6Rs ki hai?



Beggar: Par saab girlfrend bhi to hai.



Man: Bhikari hokar bhi GF banali.



Beggar: Na saab,GF ne Bhikari bana diya!



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Q: Why do women live longer than men?



A: Shopping never causes heart attacks, but paying the bill does!



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Wats the diff between Complete & Finished?



If you find good wife u r complete otherwise u r finished.



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So many options: Poison, sleeping pills, hanging, jumping from a building,



lying on train tracks, but we chose Marriage, slow and sure!



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Have u heard about the man who threw his wife into a pond of crocodiles?



He's now being harassed by the animal rights for being cruel to the



crocodiles.



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Two men r talking.. 1st: I got married coz I was tired of eating out,



cleaning the house, doing the laundry & wearing shabby clothes.



2nd: Amazing, I just got divorced for the very same reasons



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Wife: If I dismiss the cook and make the food myself for a month, what



will you pay me?



Husband: I won't have to pay you, you'll get my entire insurance amount.