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4 FEET LONG COFFEE ANYONE?
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Posted 11-08-2011Reply

4 FEET LONG COFFEE ANYONE?



Indians are innovative mathematicians. After having discovered the ‘ zero’ - –most westerners think that our math genius did not go beyond this.Indians have discovered or invented no more math concepts . I remember reading in grade 6 the science of mensuration—how to measure things and what units of measurement to use in each case. Thus I learnt that temperature is indicated in terms of centigrade—now replaced by Celsius. Length is stated in terms of feet and yards—now replaced by metres. Being a rather rotund boy I was teased by my Mumbai school mates as’ Jadia’ —‘fatso’ in Mumbai lingo. But now we avoid such politically incorrect terms .



My doctor tells me that my bio- mass index is rather high ! Indians measure even a wedding ceremony in numbers. For example when my wedding ceremony was just completed my friends thumped me on my back and told me ‘So you have done 7 pherays around the fire”.



Many political parties in India consider a particular type of politician ripe for being given a ticket to stand for elections—this is also measured in numbers. Thus 7 khoon Maaf is the eligibility criterion. Unless one had committed 7 offences of a serious nature you could hardly be expected to be given a ticket .

If this is amazing wait till you read what’s coming up next.



In parts of south India the Kaaapi hotel waiter will ask you if you want three feet coffee or 5 feet coffee. When he sees you —usually somebody from outside the south-- looking perplexed he will direct your attention to the guy who is preparing coffee. This dark skinned guy with a cheerful disposition warbling a Tamil film song with his hair tossed around like Rajnikant’s , will display what the ‘length of coffee’ means.



The guy will toss the coffee from a steel tumbler to what Tamilians call a davara which is really a steel small bowl. The stream of coffee will fall as fast as gravity will allow from the tumbler held high over the guy’s head to the davara several feet below—this distance is what ‘length of coffee’ is all about. When I took my American friends to a Madras Restaurant in Potomac City they looked me as if I were mad when I placed an order for 6 cups of 5 feet coffee .

I directed their attention at the coffee making boy who with practiced elegance and precision tossed the coffee as described above, with the coffee brimming right to the edge of the tumbler but not spilling even a milligram. The man tossed his hair a la Rajnikant and looked at us triumphantly. The Americans stood up and applauded what they felt was a feat fit for the Olympics. The coffee guy himself smiled sheepishly as if to say ‘It is all in a day’s work folks” .There was another matter over which the Americans exulted—the steel tumbler and the davara . They asked me why I preferred this strange combination. Elsewhere people prefer the cup and the saucer but south Indians…



I gave them a talk on the merits of this steel tumbler and davara combination. It is now 4 years since that event. I now understand that, as is to be expected of Americans, research has been done that show that and here I quote verbatim:



They found that the 'Tumbler-Davara' pair scores over the traditional 'Cup and Saucer' and also the tall straight 'Lotah' of the northern part of India. The rim in both Tumbler and Davara helps in a firmer grip. The rim also helps in dissipating heat serving as a cooling fin. They also found the people usually transferring a portion of hot liquid into the Davara and cooling it by blowing on it or swirling it. It was observed that the locals tried to do the same when offered the beverage in a cup and saucer, with disastrous results !

Ceramic ware tend to suffer damages during washing while the stainless steel utensils last long….



As a trial measure selected branches of Chains like MacDonalds have started using Tumbler and Davara (one cannot separate them). Customer response is expected to be positive.



By the way one claim made by south Indians has not yet been substantiated. Ask any true blue Tamilian and he will swear on the head of actors Vijaykant and Khushboo that coffee had in a steel tumbler davara combo tastes better than when served in any other utensil. Americans being Americans did retailed research into this aspect too and felt that there was no evidence.



My Tamil friend Armugam who collaborated with the American scientists emailed to me that he did not want to let down India by telling them the true reason why coffee served in the steel combo tastes best. He said that he would share the secret with me in confidence . I am sharing this only with my readers. I request all of you to give me a written undertaking that you will never share this with foreigners.



The secret to why Indian food and beverages taste the way they do—exquisite – is the unhygienic conditions in which they are usually cooked!! Coffee tastes best when the tumbler/davara combo is slightly dirty .Alternately you could wash it thoroughly provided the water you use is dirty . Try having paani poori with distilled water—you will throw up. Add gutter water—which is what the street vendor does---and it will taste yummmmmy.



But wait I am not being parochial in favour of Tamilians. Let me tell you about a maths innovation relating to coffee but this time the venue is a Bangalore kaapi shop.



Just watch 6 youngsters sitting down in 4 seats across a single table—camaradarie for you. Carefully hear them placing an order.



‘4 by 6 KAAPI’ is what they are likely to say. This is about the quantity and its distribution not the length of kaapi !!!



K.R.RAVI

WWW.KRRAVI.COM

 
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